1st of July and Camping

Canada Day for all us canucks out there. It’s one thing I miss a lot. Canada Day was always a crazy and fun day for me growing up. It’s no fun when you don’t live there any more. All that energy is missing in the air.

Lesbian Family Camping was okay on the weekend. Very rainy, wet and damp. Nicholas still had fun in the lake swimming.

We were around 20 families with their kids. Which at times was a bit too overwhelming for me. I am not the chit-chat/tell me your life story type in a group. It was weird at times. I felt, very out of place.

I did meet some interesting people tho. A family that lives only 20 minutes from us with a 5 year old boy who loooooooved our dog Mia. In fact he went to bed kissing the dog goodnight and the first thing he did in the morning was go to Mia and say hello.

Nicholas was still a little too young to hang out with the other kids. He prefered throwing rocks in the lake and pond and making mud pies with two little girls on the beach. He had a very hard time falling asleep at night and it made him even more less enjoyable as the weekend progressed.

BB was completely not happy. She hates being wet and cold and damp all the time. And as the sun came out on Sunday morning as we packed, all she wanted to do was go home.

Despite the wet experience, we actually want to go again next year. Only if the weather is a bit better tho.

Deep In Thought

You know when something goes terribly wrong, and you spend the couple of days afterwards thinking about it and trying to digest what happened?

Well, that was my past weekend. I was so close to tears a couple of times. Frustration, disappointment, fear, anger and ashamed were only a few of the strong feelings I had to deal with on the weekend.

I am trying to put it all behind me, knock it off as a learning experience. But it’s hard.

I am so glad to be going away this weekend with BB and Nicholas. Doing something totally different and hopefully fun. Together as a family.

Gay Family Camping

I have done something that I never thought was possible. I made BB buy a tent. And not just a fun little kids tent for the boy (he already has two) but an actual real tent in which you sleep in overnight in the open.

I should say that BB is NOT a camper. In fact, I have no idea why she actually even agreed to this. But believe it or not, it was her idea.

So in two weeks, we are going to pack up our car, with kid, dog, tent and other things and drive to Lake Constance and camp with a bunch of other gay families (or ones that are on the way to becoming one).

Nicholas is all excited. He loves camping. I think he will have a blast being next to the water this time and I know we will have a good time. Although I am rather nervous about all the other people. But I am actually looking forward to all this.

And BB, will have fun too. She still can’t believe we are going to do this, but if it turns out well, we might just do it again! And I would absolutely love that!

Cherry Trees

Today as Nicholas and I were taking Mia for a stroll through the vineyards, we walked up to our favourite spot. It is a small little piece of land in the middle of a sea of wine grapes, it has 6 large cherry trees on it. The cherry season is in full bloom and you can walk right up to the branches that are heavy with fruit and pick them straight from the tree. Nicholas and I love the really dark cherries, they have a sweeter taste and are absolutely to die for when they are still warm from the sun.

The funny thing is, before I lived in Germany, I have never seen cherries on a tree before. And the only cherry I ever had was the one out of my canned fruit cup. I never was a fan of them. Alone that canned colour was totally unnatural.

But today, as we took a break from the summer sun baking us on our walk, I watched Nicholas walk around the trees picking the cherries and eating them, trying to spit the stone as far as he could…I smiled. And I came to the conclusion that I really like cherries. And so does Nicholas.

That memory of today……his cherry dripping lips, the sun splashing spots of sun and leaf shadows on his face, him trying to pick the best cherry using only two fingers to pluck them as gently as he could, my own feeling of pure bliss and happiness…..I burnt that on to my brain. In 20, 40, 60 years I want to remember that moment. Because sometimes life shows you love in little places, like under cherry trees.

Right…I Blog(ged)

Well, I used to. A long time ago when time was there and thoughts were blog-able.

I have a few things I would like to say, but can’t. Things I would like to share but won’t and that makes it all hard to blog about anything else.

The past few months have required my attention, but I hoping to win back a little of my time again.

Lately things have been going good, but chaotic.

Nicholas and I went camping with my scouts last week.  Nicholas did great and would have done so much better if that heat wave hadn’t knocked us all out.

We spent last weekend in the Netherlands meeting up with our KD and some other half-siblings and their mothers.  I found it interesting that none of the children looked anything like Nicholas at all. Only one little girl had the same hair colour and texture  (the whispy, thin, taking forever to grow in stuff that Nicholas has).  It was a good visit and was very interesting. I will definitely go again.

I am looking forward to all my scout work slowing down over the course of the next 2 months.  I have been waaaay too wrapped up in my scouting stuff lately and I hardly have any energy for anything else. I don’t like feeling and it has to stop.

As a result of my scouting overload, I have been neglecting other things or procrastinating and I don’t like that either.

Here’s to trying to kick my own ass a bit and take control over my own life again